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Issue 4 > Casebook > Adopted At Birth
One woman's search for her birth mother takes her across the Atlantic, while another shares her disappointment after a recent hearing at the Royal Courts of Justice denied her access to her father's origins.
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Frances Lake has written for the August edition about descendents of adopted people not having access to birth records and her court case experience to obtain her father's records (Casebook, Judgment Went Against Me). I was at the court with her to hear of the judgment being in the same situation. My father was born in 1919, adopted 1927, and died 1961 with the then stigma of adoption still with him. I do not know his birth name but have all his other information and knew his adoptive mother (my grandmother) well. I think it is discriminating and unequal for the law to exclude descendents in the definition of birth relatives and thereby deny us access to our parent's birth records. If we are not relatives of our parents then what are we? I cannot really fault the Judge's decision in Frances' case because it is the law that is the obstacle. How can a law be upheld which serves to deny access to birth records by the unequal and discriminating definitions of birth relative? Even those related by marriage and not blood have the access we require to a birth name and hence birth records etc. I would be interested to know whether you are able to encourage further discussion of this issue.
I am a member of the DAP and searched to find my true heritage for many years, however my story is one of success.
My father tragically took his own life at the age of 29, in 1973, I was 13 months old and my brothers were 6 and 11. My father could never get over the feeling of rejection from his mother, although he was raised by his adoptive parents (my grandfather and grandmother) his mother (adoptive) deemed it appropriate to remind him of his adoption and of how grateful he should be to be part of the family. He was adopted at the age of 6 months so this pretty much went on throughout his short life time.
My mother raised us as best she could, re-married as she felt it appropriate to do so but never got over the tragic loss of my father, her beloved.
My grandmother refused to give us any information with regard to my father's adoption and took this to this valuable information to the grave so I began my search with the GRO in 2000. Whilst they are very nice on the telephone they were unable to disclose any information whatsoever with regard to my father. I cannot relay to you the total angst and anxious that you feel when putting down the telephone from the GRO, none the wiser as to who you are, knowing that these people have access to your parent when you are not!
My searches would usually stop at the GRO - it always felt like I was hitting a brick wall, I would always sit and hope that the law would change just that bit to help me out but it never did.
I got married in 2004 and decided to take up my search once again. My mother, husband and I would trawl through the online records that were available to us to see if we could tally a boy being born at the same time as my father in the district we believed him to be born in, but without a name it is simply a needle in a haystack.
I got in touch with BAAF and a lady emailed me telling me that under 'exceptional circumstances' the court where my fathers' adoption took place would allow me access to his file but it was at the judges' discretion. BAAF had also advised me of DAP, Descendants of Adopted Parents and this is where I first contacted Frances Lake in 2008. She was like a whirlwind of support. The knowledge of having someone who completely understood the void that sits with you when you don't really know who you are in indescribable but Frances did understand and I also went on to contact other members of the DAP as well as assist with our Facebook page.
It was during a telephone conversation with Frances that I happened to mention that I could not quite pluck up the courage to write to the court where my fathers' adoption had taken place. Once again, her support just shone through but it still took me another 3 months to pluck up the courage to write to the court. I waited and waited and emailed my request every other day, just in case it hadn't been seen or just deleted, the paranoia in intolerable. On 20th March 2009 I received a very short but sweet email telling me that the Circuit Judge had granted me access to my fathers file, it was amazing. The paperwork could not have come quick enough, but when it did it was wonderful, we had my fathers real name, his mothers name and so much more. I was offered the opportunity to visit the court to view the papers in person, I took up and my mother and I travelled to the court in question and held these delicate papers with our own hands. Once again our guardian angel must have been floating above us as the gentleman who assisted us at the court advised us to get in touch with the National Adoption Society to try and find out more about the adoption.
It took me a couple of weeks to pluck up the courage to write to the society to be told that all records were archived as the National Adoption Society was no more. I wrote and emailed the relevant offices much the same as I did the court to be informed that my case was in a queue but I would be dealt with as soon as possible.
After a few hiccups here and there from their end I was eventually granted access to my fathers adoption file. Once again my mother and I travelled to the offices and sat in a room where we were presented with documents that were 65 years old, it was incredible to say the least. We also found out the true identity of my grandfather which was a complete bonus as I had never really focused any of my attention on him it was always on my grandmother.
I am aware that the Circuit Judge who granted me access to my file has since retired but words cannot express my gratitude to him for granting me access to my fathers' adoption records. I have since gone on to locate an uncle who knew nothing of my father which has just been fabulous.
This law must be changed or amended so that others can wreak the same benefit as I have had it is truly inhumane to allow people to carry on without knowing who they really are.
I would like to express thanks to BAAF, Hastings Registry Office, DAP and last but in no way least Frances Lake for her unconditional continual support.
I located a birth certificate of a first cousin that stated he was adopted shortly after his birth in 1929. His single mother gave birth illegitimately in a workhouse type of place. His birth father is said to have been the master of the house where she was a servant. She later went on to marry and have another son. I would love to find this adopted cousin, as would the rest of the extended family. But we are stymied because the records are frozen for 100 years. By 2029 when the ban will be lifted, most of the now living cousins and his half brother will be dead or too old to even think of looking at the records. So we can never find him while he is alive, just because he was unfortunate enough to be illegitimate and adopted. I understand from the article that his half brother could perhaps get access to the records but as he will not even reply to my letters, I very much doubt he will do anything about it. The whole unsatisfactory situation saddens and frustrates the whole extended family.
My father came to South Africa with his family, met mum and had 3 children.
Unfortunately he passed away in a car accident at the age of 23. As we were too young (I was only 4) to correspond, we lost all contact with his
adoptive family in Shrewsbury. Last September we were able to trace them via Facebook - nearly 40 years later (we still haven't met though). This opened up the can with all the unanswered questions again. 5 months
ago I started the search for my father's adoption files with the help of Frances Lake whose email address I found on a website as I have never been to the UK and didnt quite know how to go about it. I was fortunate enough to hit on a court willing to help and am glad to say that I received the documents on 26 July 2010. I am extremely excited - still processing the information and ready to start the search for my biological grandmother. Hope this will inspire others to not give up the search!
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am glad that at least I have been able to help some of you. Well done Elmarie, Andrea and some others I know about. If only the Court at Old Street, Shoreditch, had not closed and the files lost, then Roy and I (our fathers were adopted at the same Court) may have been able to report a successful outcome too.
I would like to ask Nick Barrett to investigate Ana's claim that the files are frozen for 100 years. I have never come across this before. My understanding is that adoption files are treated differently from other records and that once the adoptee dies without asking for access to the information, the file is closed for ever. Unless, of course, you are lucky enough to find a sympathetic court or agency that has a different interpretation on the Adoption and Children Act. Alas, the GRO is not budging. Therefore, we have to get the Adoption Act changed. It is important that descendants engage with their MPs in the first instance and keep me informed of their progress. Good luck.
Frances